After Pope Francis’ death, debates begin over his successor. And yes, oh my God, a Black Pope? This world would lose its little small, simple, preconceived mind.

We’ve seen a Black President, Black astronauts, a Black woman one-step from the Oval Office, and Black quarterbacks running the game - but a Black Pope? Now that’s a seismic event that could make the Vatican dust off its exorcism rituals.

Oh, a Black Pope? This is mind-blowing for most of the planet.

The world would absolutely lose its mind, and not in the ‘let’s have a theological symposium’ kind of way. No, this would be the kind of drama that sends thunderous shockwaves through the very marrow of every racially charged, culture-clinging, historically stuck-in-the-19th-century belief system. The idea of a Black man holding the highest seat in the Catholic Church would have every cultural purist clutching their diamonds and hyperventilating into a fainting couch. Heaven forbid! A Black Pope? The sky would fall, yes, and not a moment too soon.

Look no further than the sacred Vatican. The very notion of a non-white Pope would send that Italian-dominated fortress of ancient tradition into a tailspin. The Vatican, which prides itself on a long illustrious history of theological conservatism, colonial residue, and a near-total absence of diversity, would be forced to confront the ugly truth: it’s been a white man's country club for centuries. And while they’ve had a few Black cardinals to nod at - token gestures, really - don’t kid yourself: a Black Pope isn’t just a “minor change.” This would be the spiritual equivalent of pulling the rug out from under an ancient aristocracy, and let’s be real, no one likes to have their power yanked like that, especially when it’s tied to centuries of colonial exploitation and oppression.

Bible in one hand, gun in the other.

Anyway: Once upon a time, you remember, when the American people voted for a Black guy as US President, millions lost their deep-fried minds. That’s how the world got King Trump.

A Black Pope, Say it ain’t so? Half the world may turn to devil worship.

Now, let’s turn to the white, Western world. Oh, the horror. The outrage would be immediate, and it would be epic. White supremacy, that delightful little monster lurking in every corner of society, would have an absolute conniption. From the very bowels of conservative punditry to the most die-hard MAGA shills, a Black Pope would be seen as an existential crisis for their fragile, Eurocentric worldview. A Black Pope? Oh, the audacity! White supremacy can’t even stand the idea of a Black man in charge of a global institution of power. Their predictable reaction would be a mix of horror, confusion, and rage, all wrapped up in a shiny, “we need to protect tradition” package. Translation, save White dominance.

And please, let’s not forget how they’d spin it. The backlash would flood the global airwaves with sanctimonious gibberish about “maintaining the purity of the papacy” and “the spiritual dangers of disrupting our sacred history.” Translation: “Our history of exploiting, colonizing, and whitewashing everything can’t possibly include a person who isn’t… well… white.” It would be a circus, with all the usual suspects lining up to argue that the Holy Father must look like the rest of us - pale, power-hungry, and fixated on a version of Christianity that conveniently overlooks the abuses of history.

But Africa? Oh, they might throw a party - maybe. The continent, already home to one of the fastest-growing Catholic populations, might see the rise of a Black Pope as some kind of cosmic justice, the global South getting its seat at the table. It’s a tempting idea. But let’s not fool ourselves into thinking this would be universally accepted in Africa either. There’s a whole hot mess of Catholic legacy to deal with here. You think the same colonial Church that shoved European-style Christianity down their throats for centuries would suddenly be trusted by the very people it tried to civilize? That’s cute. The truth is, while some might hail this as the final jab at colonialism, others might still feel the long, cold hand of European religious control on their backs. The Pope might be Black, but the system would still be white.

Now, here’s where it gets real funky - politically speaking. Imagine the global geopolitical disaster this would spark. The Vatican has its imperialistic tentacles in more countries and systems than you can shake a rosary at. A Black Pope would shake up every alliance, power structure, and political game that’s ever used the Church as a puppet. The powers that be, especially in the West, wouldn’t just disagree with the Black Pope - they’d panic. Freak-Out! This isn’t about theology; it’s about money, power, symbolism and control. And those who built empires on the backs of others aren’t exactly keen to see their ill-gotten global monopoly handed over to someone who isn’t playing by their whitewashed rules.

Black Military Generals? We’ve seen that. Black Wall Street moguls? Been there, done that. Black Nobel laureates? Sure. But a Black Pope? That’s the one that’ll have the entire power structure clutching their Bibles and their wallets at the same time.

The real kicker here? The Black Pope wouldn’t change a damn thing for the average person. He could be Black, green, or polka-dotted plaid with stripes, but as long as the Vatican clings to its imperial power, it’s just a fresh coat of paint on the same crumbling, mold-infested building.

Obama might have painted the White House Black, erected a basketball hoop over the garage, had backyard BBQs with ribs and hot-links, but what really changed across these all-so-divided states?

As I said: It’s a symbolic thing.

Sure, the optics would be great for the media, for a few photo ops, and for some progressive talking heads, but the real question is whether this “revolutionary” shift would actually challenge the entrenched systems of oppression that have been propped up by the Church for centuries.

Just look at how pissed off, and I do mean pissed off so many folks get when they see a Black Santa Claus. A Black Mermaid sent some Disney-loving folks into a tizzy. The Blackening of the world is perhaps a tad too much for many folks. OK, millions - tens of millions.Hundreds?

And as for the little people in the streets? You’d have those patting themselves on the back for how inclusive they are now, conveniently ignoring the ongoing exploitations and endless inequities still perpetuated by the institution. You’d have others, meanwhile, screaming “it’s a sign of the apocalypse” like the world’s going to end because the Pope’s skin isn’t lily-white. A Black Pope wouldn’t solve the Church’s problems. It would just put a shiny new face on them. The same systems that have historically weaponized religion for power would remain, regardless of the Pope’s complexion.

In the end, the sky would fall, alright. For some, it’d be a beautiful collapse - a long-overdue reckoning with the systems that have kept people of color in check. But for the rest of the world? Oh, they’d cry bloody murder. A Black Pope? How dare the universe challenge their centuries-old narratives? The true tragedy is that, in all this chaos, no one would be questioning the systems themselves. They’d be too busy locking their car doors, the elevator doors, hell, maybe even shutting the doors of Catholic churches all around the globe.

Black Senators? Totally. Black tech billionaires? Sure, fine. Black Nobel Prize winners? Whatever. But a Black Pope? That’s the kind of thing that’ll make the entire global elite have a collective meltdown.

Next thing you know the world discovers God is a Gay Black woman and the Devil is White - who knows?