Oprah
is known everywhere around the world, and has touched nearly
everyone.
Her
media stardom and public ministry make her omnipresent as
well as omnipotent. Her converts would argue she is also
omniscient, especially with her monthly oracle -- "O,
The Oprah Magazine” -- pontificating the principles
of self-help, self-love, and self-giving.
Oprah's
principles empower women the world over and derive from
her own personal narrative.
And
because she has been so public about her life it appears
that no topic is off-limits with the Queen of
daytime talk. But when it comes talking about her private
sexual life, the public feels, Oprah is neither honest
nor open.
The
public no longer queries Oprah about her longtime boyfriend,
Stedman Graham, of twenty plus years: they meet in 1986,
were engaged in 1992, and now no wedding is in sight.
And
it’s rumored the relationship soured, and that Oprah and
Stedman no longer reside together, albeit she denies it, but
rather he ceremonially shows up as Oprah’s escort for
important photo-op moments, like the December 5th Kennedy
Center honors. And according to the recent “Star”
Magazine’s article titled “O, Please!: Oprah & Stedman
Put on a Show” the “distance between the two isn’t
just geographical.”
But
the distance, as the public has witnessed, both geographically
as well as emotionally between Oprah and her gal pal, Gayle
King, editor-at-large for O, The Oprah Magazine, isn’t. And for over
two decades now Oprah has denied the rumors that she and
Gayle are more than just two sistah-girls being sister-friends.
But after
30 years of four-times-a-day phone calls, and frequent sightings
of where you see Oprah you also see Gayle, the
public continues to question Oprah about their relationship.
"No,
I'm not a lesbian, I'm not even kind of a lesbian," Oprah
stated on "A
Barbara Walters Special: Oprah, The Next Chapter.”
“The
reason why it irritates me is because it means that somebody
must think I’m lying. That’s number one,” Winfrey told Walters.
“Number two … why would you want to hide it? That is
not the way I run my life.”
In
a culture that constantly sexualizes the coupling of - same-gender
and opposite-gender- consenting age adults, we ignore our
own friendships with our “best friends forever” (BFF).
In
all human relationships- sexual or platonic- we long for
a relational connectedness to spend as much time as
possible with, at least, one person in our lifetime
who shares our common interests and highest ideals.
The
words "friend" and "freedom" derive
from the same Indo-European and Sanskrit etymological roots,
meaning "to be fond of" or "to hold
dear." When it comes to a having a friendship with someone, the relationship should never be predicated
on gender, age, race or sexual orientation, but rather it
should be built on the deep heart-to-heart sharing, accountability, and sustainability
that only a good friend can give you.
Feminist
theologian Mary E. Hunt states "Friendship is a relatively
rare topic in patriarchal Christian theology, having long
taken a backseat to marriage as the normative adult human
relationship. This led to the hegemony of heterosexual marriage
as the standard...friendship is the most inclusive way to
describe a variety of voluntary relationships, including
women with women, men with men, women with men, adults with
children, humans with animals, persons with the Divine,
and humans with the earth."
Oprah explained
to Walters her relationship with BFF Gayle:
“She
is … the mother I never had. She is … the sister everybody
would want. She is the friend that everybody deserves. I
don’t know a better person. I don’t know a better person.”
In
our culture of constantly labeling same-gender relationships
as gay, it diminishes and distorts the romantic relationships
we lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ)
people have with our significant others. As a matter of
fact, constantly labeling same-gender relationships as gay
not only wrongly assumes that the only reason for two people
of the same gender getting together is for sex, but it also
keeps in place the myth of the hypersexual and predatory
homosexual.
In
the Hebrew Bible, the Ruth and Naomi narrative is an iconic
text used in civil unions and weddings of LGBTQ couples.
It
reads:
“Don’t
urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you
go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people
will be my people and your God my God. Where
you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the
LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death
separates you and me,” Ruth uttered to her mother-in-law
Naomi
The
narrative holds high esteem in my community not because
the women are lesbians, but rather because the narrative
depicts a unconventional relationship about loyalty and
love that crosses the boundaries of age, nationality and
religion; thus, by extension embracing a variety of voluntary
same-gender coupling – straight or gay.
Oprah
is not gay folks!
And
she’s not a closeted dyke either, but rather the world’s
beloved daytime talk show diva.
BlackCommentator.com
Editorial Board member, the Rev. Irene Monroe, is a religion
columnist, theologian, and public speaker. She is
the Coordinator of the African-American Roundtable
of the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies in Religion and
Ministry (CLGS) at the Pacific School of Religion.
A native of Brooklyn, Rev. Monroe is a graduate from
Wellesley College and Union Theological Seminary at Columbia
University, and served as a pastor at an African-American
church before coming to Harvard Divinity School for her
doctorate as a Ford Fellow. She was recently named to MSNBC’s
list of 10 Black Women You Should Know. Reverend Monroe is the author
of Let Your Light Shine Like a Rainbow Always: Meditations on Bible
Prayers for Not’So’Everyday Moments. As an African-American
feminist theologian, she speaks for a sector of society
that is frequently invisible. Her website is irenemonroe.com.
Click here
to contact the Rev. Monroe.
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