Now that I've got your attention, you are probably
asking, "Jane, what the freak is a toilet bomb?" Aha!
You'll have to read through the rest of this story to find out.
Before I talk about the dangers of toilets, I want
to talk about the dangers of sugar. Remember when we NEVER used
to see ANYBODY weighing over 300 pounds? Maybe there was the fat
lady in the circus but that was about it. Now you see 300-pound
people everywhere. Every day. They are as much a part of American
life as tattoos or redheads.
At Disneyland last month, I was truly dismayed. With
my own eyes, I saw at least ten TEENAGERS who were so overweight
they couldn't even walk by themselves and needed to be shuttled
around in carts.
What to do about it? I haven't a clue. Can I myself
resist sugar and transfats? Not on your life! You shoulda seen me
at the office Christmas party last week -- cake in one hand, chocolate
ice cream in the other hand and mouth full of Santa Claus cookies
while I went off in search of the eggnog. I had a sugar hangover
for the next three days. And did I learn something from this experience?
Hell, no. I'm ready for more!
You are much much much more likely to die from illnesses
brought on by the consumption of excess sugar and transfats than
you are from a terrorist attack. Furthemore, one can resist terrorist
attacks. But who can resist sugar? Certainly not me. The holiday
season is just starting and I've already gained seven pounds.
Okay.
Here's where we finally come to the part about the toilet bomb.
Recently I was reading an e-mail from http://nucnews.net/
with reference to that Russian spy with the unpronounceable name
who had a particle of radioactive material -- I think it was plutonium
-- slipped into his sushi. Which made me start to wonder, "Is
plutonium that plentiful and that transportable?" If it is,
then some terrorist could easily buy up some plutonium, drop it
down some anonymous toilet, jiggle the handle and effortlessly irradiate
an entire city's sewage system. "Flushed away!"
Would we then be required to show two forms of photo
ID and go through a scanner every time we needed to go to the bathroom?
If I was a terrorist -- which I am not because I strongly
believe that taking the life of a fellow human being is the absolute
lowest thing anyone can do and is especially loathsome when done
under the guise of "capital punishment" or "war"
-- I'd use an even better way to kill off Americans! I'd stop wasting
money stockpiling plutonium and start buying up sugar-coated breakfast
cereal commercials aimed at children, instead. Soon this diabolical
terrorist plot would be killing off American kids right and left,
but no one would even notice, no one would even care -- and I would
never get caught!
Jane Stillwater is a freelance writer, civil rights
and peace activist living in Berkeley, California. Click
here to contact Ms. Stillwater. Sidetracked will appear on a
regular basis on BC. |