Lessons in Avoiding Mass Ignorance: Black People and Cell Phones

It’s come to my immediate attention that some, not all, black people need a lesson in how to avoid mass ignorance.

While at the bank the other day, I found myself waiting in an unusually long line. Now, I bank with a black owned bank and this bank, no matter how many people are in line, will only open two teller windows max at any given time, adding to the frustration of their customers. But I digressed. Believe it or not, this isn’t about the horrible customer service of the bank.

As I am waiting in a line intertwined in my own thoughts, I am suddenly jolted back to reality when I hear a loud beep followed by a loud, “Where you at!”

Immediately I look around to find the idiot who is in the bank with their chirp on full blast so the whole world can partake in their conversation.

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, the person chirps back, “I’m in the bank,” which is followed by “What you doin’,” which is followed by “I said I’m at the bank. Don’t worry about where I be at!”

Well for starters, I say to myself, you can get behind a preposition and learn to speak English properly. If the entire world has to be subjected to your conversation, the least you can do is speak correct English.

Much to my amazement, this conversation goes on for several minutes and I realize by looking at the line that I am not the only one rolling my eyes and annoyed by the loud and intrusive conversation.

I realized at that very moment that like driver’s licenses and children, everyone doesn’t need a phone with two-way capabilities because there is a certain amount of phone etiquette required these days that many of us have not learned.

First, there is a reason why all phones come with a vibrator and the option for silent mode. Don’t be afraid to use it, especially when you find yourself in public areas.

Second, it’s okay to let your phone go to voicemail, that’s why we have it. Don’t feel compelled to answer your phone every time it rings, especially when you’re in a theater full of people trying to watch a movie that we paid a ridiculously large amount of money to see in the first place.

And speaking of voicemail, we don’t need to hear the entire song play before we can leave you a message. Unlike you, we actually have a life and don’t want to be forced to listen to a song that we don’t even like in the first place just to have the opportunity to say our name before we are cut off because your song took up all of the time allotted for any type of message.

Now I know you take great pride in your newly downloaded ring tone, but please don’t let your phone ring on and on just for the sake of “showing off.” Answer the damn thing or turn it off!

Next, if you work in an office, respect your co-workers and turn the volume down or off on your phone.

Please don’t have me standing at the check out stand waiting to be checked out while you send a text message to your boyfriend. I know it doesn’t seem like this rule applies any more, but I am the customer and the customer is always right.

Finally, as if driving in Los Angeles wasn’t dangerous enough, now I have to look out for DWT drivers, “driving while texting.” Often times these drivers are worse than the other drivers because they just flat aren’t looking at the road, but rather their phones key pad in an attempt to spell out a message that could wait to be sent at another time.

Please take this the wrong way.

Phone etiquette, like manners at the dinner table, is very necessary. As much as you don’t want me in your business is as much as I don’t want to be in your business. So for the good of the order, let’s avoid mass ignorance when using our cell phones.

Kennedy Johnson is a black writer who lives somewhere in Los Angeles and can be reached at [email protected].

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