This article first appeared in Playahata.com and Guerilla
Funk.
A few years ago, BET's Bob Johnson announced the formation of DC Air,
a budget airline that would have been created to help slide the merger
of US Air and United Airlines through Congress with less resistance.
Immediately, the joke emails started circulating, with all types of
ignorant scenarios about just how ghetto an airline run by a brother
would actually operate. Flight attendants dressed like video hoes,
an in-flight DJ, Popeye's Chicken as the in-flight meal, etc. were
just a few of the ignorant and totally stereotypical comments I saw
bandied about. For whatever odd reason, black people have come to associate
black business with automatically meaning incompetence and lack of
professionalism.
Thus the jokes were funny on the surface, but underneath it all was
a subconscious train of thought that the idea of black people running
an airline was too outlandish to ever come to fruition. Damn, are we
that programmed or what?
The merger never made it, and thus never did DC Air (Johnson has since
taken his money elsewhere, having bought the NBA's Charlotte expansion
franchise, which he arrogantly named after himself), but some genius
in Hollywood got hold of that email, and now we're left with yet another
masterpiece of moviemaking, the-headed-to-DVD-and-Cinemax-with-a-bullet
flick, Soul Plane.
I won't bother giving you the plot, there isn't one. Just know that
through a truly outrageous turn of events, Dakwon (Kevin Hart of the
ABC sitcom The Big House, which will probably be canceled by
the time you finish reading this review) becomes the owner of NWA Airlines
(Yes, NWA. Don't ask me what it stands for), which is about to make
its first ever flight from LAX to JFK.
There are two schools of thought involved when trying to analyze a
movie like Soul Plane – either you can see it as an hour and
a half diversion of mindless laughs, or you can see it as the worst
possible representation of what Hollywood thinks of Black people and
what they'll pay to see. Naturally, being the Hata I am, I tend to
lean towards the latter. It's hard not to, considering that this movie
has about every possible stereotype of blacks out there covered:
-
The ignorant,
loud, oversexed black male – played
lecherously by "Ignorant DVD King" Brian Hooks (Three
Strikes, Eve)
-
The oversexed dirty black old man – played by
John "Pops" Witherspoon, who just happens to be
blind in this movie.
-
The flaming gay black man – played by the
same dude who ironically played "Smart Brother" on Undercover
Brother.
-
The ignorant pothead n'er do-well – played
to perfection by Method Man.
Even the situations and scenery are stereotypical:
-
The terminal
looks like a black mall, complete with shoe stores, a Roscoe's
Chicken and Waffles, and a 99 Cent
Store.
-
There
is a basketball court in the terminal.
-
The
plane has three levels, First Class (which looks like the
VIP section of a club), Business Class (which comes
complete with a strip club and casino) and Low Class
(which pretty much looks like the projects, complete with
a TV with aluminum
foil on the antenna).
-
There
are malt liquor ads on the walls of the plane.
-
The
overhead compartments are actually lockers, which require
quarters to open. You know, like in a bus terminal.
-
There's a club on the "upper
level"
-
The stewardesses, who of course dress like hoochies,
serve Malt Liquor and Alize.
This is just the tip of the iceberg. Of course there's enough "fart" jokes, "takin'
a dump" jokes, "big dick/little dick" jokes, "broke
Negro" jokes, "white folks are so corny" jokes, and "I'm
so high" jokes to fill a week of episodes of Comic View.
I didn't even mention the fact that Snoop Dogg plays the captain – who
learned to fly while playing on a flight simulator
in jail. The whole thing feels like an extra long skit from Cedric
the Entertainer Presents. If you ever saw that show, you could
probably conclude that this isn't a good thing.
Recent movies like Undercover Brother have succeeded, largely
because they attempted to cleverly defuse old stereotypes. But like
recent gems Johnson Family Vacation, My Baby's Momma and Friday
After Next, this movie is just plain blissfully ignorant. I'll
readily admit I laughed while watching this movie, but mainly because
of the downright absurdity of the whole thing, not because of funny
writing.
Do yourself a favor and send Hollywood a message at the same time.
Miss this flight. And if you happen to be in the barbershop and they're
stupid enough to be playing a bootleg of the movie a month before
it hits theaters (while there's a dozen kids watching intently),
ask them to shut it off. Like I should have.
Grade: D+
Shiesty is a communications professional from North Carolina
who lives in Washington, D.C. His Weapons-of-Choice are Alternet.com,
BlackCommentator.com and a tattered library card. Shiesty’s Biggest
Dislikes: Bill O'Reilly, tofu, Armstong Williams, and Ward Connerly.
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