Hey You! Mr. Wannabe President, do us all a favor and keep your clammy, filthy, brown-facing, commercial airliner window-button-installing, ancestral-multiple-wives-spread-out-all-over-the-US-and-Mexico-nasty-ass-great-grands, Mitts off Big Bird.

Far be it from me to question the conservative deep thinkers.

I could easily say that the GOP is simply using that famous kid’s educational show, Sesame Street, as a metaphor for their across-the-board angst toward public television, except for one thing. When it comes to the right, lunacy isn’t out of bounds. So when I listened to Mitt Romney tee-off on PBS and Big Bird during Debate-1 against the President, I was reminded of years ago when a Christian right figure took a look at a show called Teletubbies and somehow managed to cook up a theory that singled out the purple Muppet to be Gay. Back in 1999 wacko-cleric and conservative pundit Reverend Jerry Falwell astutely and figuratively fingered one of their characters, Tinky Winky, as being a homosexual because (drum roll please) his color being purple and his (or her’s, don’t ask me, I don’t watch those shows) triangular antenna are seen by some as symbols of Gay pride.

Teletubbies was an award-winning British TV series aired by the BBC. To this day, I still wonder how the good Reverend could pull this off while ignoring Bugs Bunny (an infamous cross-dresser who once wore pink boxing shorts while fighting The Crusher “Just stopping by to say hello”), Daffy Duck (a chronic lisper), and the Solenoid Robots (one of them donned a wig and ran for Miss America on an episode of Roger Ramjet). How he missed these startling clues that would have made him a national hero is beyond me. Don’t forget the right’s targeting of SpongeBob; far be it from me to question the conservative deep thinkers.

Romney’s beef with the bird probably has no more suggestive undercurrents than that his infantile mind really thinks it’s a big yellow bird, and this is consistent with his desire for commercial jet-liners to be loaded with automatic windows. This is based on the incident involving his wife, Ann. Most of you know by now she was recently on a plane that was forced to make an emergency landing in Colorado due to smoke from an electrical fire filling the cabin. The Mittster chose the auto-windows (possibly over ABS and donut tires) as a simple solution to a complicated problem, just as conservatives habitually do. And he was Serious! There was a time when I would have understood him. When I was a kid (I had yet to fly then) my solution to plane crashes was to just wait until the plane almost hit the ground... and jump. That way I’d avoid the impact. I had the system beat, LOL!

Of course most 7-11 year-olds back then were handicapped by lack of knowledge of physics, and the big explosion that would get me even if given that I was blessed enough to still be alive. What’s Mitt’s excuse?

When it comes to the right, lunacy isn’t out of bounds

The conservatives on the other hand have long hated PBS; it’s not really Sesame Street or Teletubbies that bother them. It’s what the right sees as PBS’ shameless line of shows and documentaries that focus on and humanize social and economic justice and peace, such as Democracy Now, Frontline and even worse, Civil Rights era figures like Martin Luther King, Jr., Medgar Evers, and the Black Panthers. To them, airing shows on these icons is like finger nail sounds running across a blackboard. I have watched many a Malcolm X documentary on PBS on a Sunday while football was on. To them, it’s like giving aid and comfort to the other side. No other network would have done that, especially among the Big Three. Free speech is only for the 53%. PBS is “Fair” to Fox’s imbalance. The same holds true for NPR and some local black talk radio stations vs. the majority dominant ClearChannel and the big-name shows aired on their powerful frequencies: Rush, Hannity, Savage, etc.

Don’t believe Romney or any of the others who try to use money and affordability as a smokescreen to hide their bias. The $445 million funded to PBS equates to .0001 of the federal budget. Big Mitt says we’re borrowing money from the Chinese to keep Big Bird on the air. Does Big Bird even go to a Chinese restaurant, or does that money just leave the Chinese community permanently? According to a national survey commissioned by PBS “69% of voters oppose elimination of government funding for public broadcasting (27% are for it).” This wouldn’t be of any consequence were a white President in office with the exact same accomplishments, but we are still witnessing the MAO Syndrome (mad at Obama) and expect to see much more of it during the next four years.

BlackCommentator.com Columnist, Chris Stevenson, is a syndicated columnist, his articles also appear on his blog; the Buffalo Bullet. Follow him on Twitter @pointblank009) and Facebook (pointblank009). Support his petition to permanently Abolish the Death Penalty in the US the Troy Davis Bill, HR92111. Click here to contact Mr. Stevenson.