I’m
hoping that the (slim) defeat of accused child sexual predator Ray
Moore in the race for U.S. Senate in Alabama is not a damper on the
exposes of the culture of sexual violence so pervasive in this
country. I’m hoping that every man who’s ever grabbed,
groped, felt, fondled, pushed, pulled, patted or rubbed a woman’s
body part without her permission and gotten away with it is still
sweating bullets every day he wakes up.
For
a while, there were almost announcements about powerful men being
knocked off their proverbial thrones by accusations of sexual crimes.
There may be some who think the snow-balling effect of women exposing
the sexual aggression of men in the workplace is an overkill. The
women who have suffered in pain and silence certainly don’t
think so.
While
much of the spotlight is on the entertainment industry and political
arena, this offensive patriarchal behavior is not relegated to power
players Russell Simmons or Congressman John Conyers. Keep coming
down the ladder and you get to the academic and banking fields. Keep
going and you get to the supposedly sacred spaces in the churches,
synagogues and parishes. Keep moving and you uncover the sexist
abuses in the fast food and health care industries where you find
low-wage working women. Keep going and you run into the likes of
Uncle George or Grandpa Willie right inside your own home.
In
the African-American community, the silent nature of sexual violence
is real. The stats are alarming. Studies cite 40-60 percent black
women report being subjected to forced sexual contact by age 18. Yet
we are less likely to report incidents than white women. Legitimate
distrust of the system and fears of betrayal mute the voices of
victims, but not the trauma.
Sexual
violence is so ingrained and commonplace in our society and
particularly in communities of color that we often have a hard time
acknowledging that any wrongdoing has occurred. If a victim so much
as thinks about calling out a perpetrator, she often faces
retaliation, isolation and rejection. You gotta be one strong,
courageous sistah to step out of the shadows and name your violator.
There
have been some phenomenal black women who have given their best to
take issues of incest, rape and sexual harassment out of the dark.
Women like Loretta Ross who helped to found the first rape crisis
center in Washington, D.C. Women like Aisha Simmons, a rape victim
herself, who produced “No! The Rape Documentary.” Women
like Robin D. Stone, author of “No Secrets, No Lies: How Black
Families Can Heal From Sexual Abuse.”
Brothers
have also stepped out. Filmmaker Byron Hurt’s documentary
“HIP-HOP: Beyond Beats and Rhymes” broke new ground in
exposing and exploring the sexual violence in the genre that
reinforced negative behaviors in our relationships and communities.
Advocacy groups have emerged with black men taking the lead in
supporting women while giving men the tools and education they need
for transformation.
As
someone who has long fought the culture of violence against women in
whatever form that violence takes, I would love for the women who
survived the sexual actions of these men to get the justice they
deserve. Just as imperative is their coming out of the shadows and
joining with the voices of their survivors-sistahs (and brothers) to
take a stand.
Victims
should be inspired to come forward and collectively shed their shame
and take back their power. This is the main way that change will be
made – and be permanent.
Sexual
abuse will not stay in the news cycle even though the
Groper-in-Charge occupies the White House. It will be up to the rest
of us to do the more important, less glorified work not captured for
the evening news camera. Let’s intensify and expand the
discussion about the pervasive culture of sexual violence in this
country. Let’s push for more and different ways for women to
report these atrocities and get the support they deserve.
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