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"Statistics estimate that 25-33 percent
of the LGBTQ population will experience
some form of partner abuse or domestic
violence in their lifetime."
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October is “Coming Out Month,” and it is also Domestic Awareness Month.
Within lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ)
communities of color, not enough information nor statistics comes
out about domestic violence. And neither does attention, education,
intervention and advocacy to prevent it.
The topic lives so deeply on the “down low” I missed the signs in 2013
of domestic violence a close colleague was experiencing.
Every Monday morning Alex (not his real name) and I met for breakfast at our favorite dive in Harvard Square.
I would notice visible bruises and cuts on his face, arms, and legs,
but assumed the black and blue marks were simply par for the course for
a guy who enjoyed the rough-and-tumble adrenaline high that come with
playing weekend scrimmage football. I don't recall a time when Alex
didn’t have a knot on his head, a cut on his lip, a bite into his skin,
welts on his arms or stitches. I did notice, however, over time that
the teddy bear sweet guy who sat across the table from me with a smile
as wide as the Charles River on Monday mornings looked beaten up rather
than injured. When I began asking Alex about his bruises he shrugged
off my queries and talked about something else. Some Monday mornings
then he would call me at the last minute to cancel or he wouldn't show
up at all.
One morning he called me to cancel telling me he was in Mount Auburn Hospital. His partner had stabbed him severely.
Statistics estimate that 25-33 percent of the LGBTQ population will
experience some form of partner abuse or domestic violence in their
lifetime. The Inter-Personal Violence (IPV) study conducted in 2011
LGBTQ stated that LGBTQ communities of color are one of the demographic
groups experiencing high incidents of domestic violence. However, to
obtain accurate statistics of how high IPV is in these communities are
obfuscated by social stigmas and cultural taboos, not excluding racism and other forms of oppressions and discriminations.
What also obfuscates obtaining accurate statistics on how high IPV is
in these communities of color is that same-gender interpersonal
violence is clouded with myths. For example, there is the myth that
because the victim and the abuser are of the same gender and are also
in a consensual sexual relationship, the battering that occurs start
out as a mutual act of S&M that somewhere during the course of the
couple's sexual encounter the violence gets out of hand. Another myth
is confusing same-gender sexual violence as homosexuality
Sadly, because these myths still abound among many health care workers
and law enforcers about what same-gender interpersonal violence is,
LGBTQ communities, particularly those of color, are least likely to
seek out services and resources.
Domestic violence is not only an act of physical violence; it can also
be an act of sexual violence as well as mental violence such as
threatening and stalking.
Because Alex wasn't out to his team, his partner - a flamboyant
effeminate male who couldn't simply be introduced as just a buddy
without suspicion - could only watch him play from a distance. Alex's
partner’s eyes turned into suspicion as he watched friendly innocent
pats on the butt during games. And he began stalking Alex. On the
morning we were to meet, his partner accused him of an affair, and a
fight ensued.
There are at least several factors contributing to the ongoing
uninterrupted incidents of domestic violence in communities of color.
One is the dominant view that combines the social ills of race and violence to be the face of black males.
Alex was seen several times for his scrapes, cuts and bruises in the
same Emergency Room at the same hospital. However, with violence
associated with young black males, the protocol and treatment for
domestic violence related injuries in inner-city hospitals for these
patents are rarely introduced or followed up.
Another is the lack of police intervention.
The police were called to the house several times by both Alex and his
partner. If they came at all they, were coming to the call of an
interracial couple in distress. However, when the cops looked at
Alex - African American, 6'2'' and 200 pounds - and then his partner - white,
5'9" and 160 pounds - judgment was rendered as to whom was the abuser.
Also, the belief that a history of racism trumps deserving a safe, healthy and violent-free relationship.
In non-interracial relationships many victims oftentimes will not
prosecute their partners for fear of community abandonment, isolations
and scorn. Some rather rationalize the violence as the root cause of
persistent micro and macro-levels of racism their partners encounter
than making them accountable for their uncontrolled actions.
But not all LGBTQs of color feel that way.
"People of color are expected to stay silent in the face of violence
and as part of the LGBTQ community the silence becomes louder when
law-enforcement, judicial and political figures ignore our calls for
help. Not having power over our own behaviors and emotions causes us to
exert dominating and violent attitudes within our community and toward
our partners,” Sean Smith wrote in his 2013 article “Imprisoned
by Violence: Domestic Violence in the (Black) LGBT Community."
Resources and services have to be made available to LGBTQ communities
of color. And this is the time to reach out to us.
LGBTQ communities
of color have to be educated to embrace the fact that they also deserve safe, loving, healthy and violent-free relationships.
Citations:
Domestic Violence in LGBT Communities | Pierre R. Berastaín
Imprisoned by Violence: Domestic Violence in the (Black) LGBT Community | National Youth Pride Services
National
Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
Transgender, Queer, and HIV-Affected Intimate Partner Violence
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BlackCommentator.com Editorial Board member and Columnist, The Rev. Irene Monroe, is a religion columnist, theologian, and public speaker. She is the Coordinator of the African-American Roundtable of the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies in Religion and Ministry (CLGS) at the Pacific School of Religion. A
native of Brooklyn, Rev. Monroe is a graduate from Wellesley College
and Union Theological Seminary at Columbia University, and served as a
pastor at an African-American church before coming to Harvard Divinity
School for her doctorate as a Ford Fellow. She was recently named to
MSNBC’s list of 10 Black Women You Should Know. Reverend Monroe is the author of Let Your Light Shine Like a Rainbow Always: Meditations on Bible Prayers for Not’So’Everyday Moments. As an African-American feminist theologian, she speaks for a sector of society that is frequently invisible. Her website is irenemonroe.com. Contact the Rev. Monroe and BC.
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 is published every Thursday |
Executive Editor:
David A. Love, JD |
Managing Editor:
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Publisher:
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